The Top Three Misperceptions of Persuasion

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There are a number of misperceptions about persuasion. Overcoming these simple misperceptions can help you become more persuasive and increase your influence. In this short video, Joe Friedman identifies the top three misperceptions of persuasion and outlines solutions to each.

There are a number of misperceptions about persuasion. Here are the three biggest ones.

Misperception #1: “I have to do all the work”

The first misperception goes like this: If I have an idea, I need to come up with an eloquent description of that idea to persuade you in some way.In other words, I have to do all the work.

In fact, I will be far more persuasive if I can get you to persuade yourself.  

Misperception #2: “Persuasion is a one-way process”

The second misperception is that persuasion is a one-way process. It’s something that I do to you. But if in fact I find a way to get you to persuade yourself, then it’s just become a two-way process.


Misperception #3: “The #1 skill is me talking”

Our belief is that the #1 skill with persuasion is me asking. How am I going to get you to convince yourself that an idea has merit when I’m talking? This truly becomes a probing process.

So, the top three misperceptions of persuasion would have it that (1) I have to do all the work, (2) it’s a one-way process, and (3) I am most persuasive when I am talking. We believe it’s the exact opposite.

Effective persuasion is really a two-way process, driven by probing. And if I find a way to ask questions gracefully, I’m going to get you to persuade yourself. Then, you’re going to ask me for that idea—rather than vice versa.