Virtual Meeting / Presenting – Tip #3 Let Your Voice Do the Talking

By Joe Friedman, ZEHREN♦FRIEDMAN ASSOCIATES, Ltd.

Welcome to our new world. As someone who has worked from home for the past 27 years, today is…Tuesday, just like any other one, unless I’m in a classroom.

Most of our business (pre-Covid-19) has been delivered in-person, 75% of which are two-day classes, the other 25% are one-day. Several years ago, we started experimenting with the various web-based platforms and created a concept we call the Virtual Classroom, and yes, it’s the next best thing to being there in-person. We do role plays, there are large and small group discussions, we white board; participants are talking, others are sending instant messages. I’m talking, typing and listening. (It also takes two people to deliver the class – I have a producer / co-facilitator helping me.)

We’ve had years to figure this out, and we’ve had a LOT of practice doing it. So now, you find yourself working at home, involved in virtual meetings and you think technology will “make it easy.” It won’t!

Each Virtual Presenting tip will come in a bite-sized chunk, so it can be implemented more easily. Plus, as this spills out of my brain, I’ll one day organize all of these tips into a book on the subject. (That was just a thought bubble, right?)

And one shamelessly salesy moment before I launch in…all of our classes (sales, presentation skills, negotiation skills and influence) can be delivered virtually!

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You can contact Joe Friedman (love to speak of myself in the third person) by phone or email – 312-841-3364, jfriedman@zehrenfriedman.com. ZEHREN♦FRIEDMAN ASSOCIATES website is www.zehrenfriedman.com.

Tip #3 – Let Your Voice Do the Talking

I’ve read a lot over the years about presenting. One thing I’ve seen, and think I know for sure (qualified enough?), is that most of our communication happens non-verbally (I’ve seen stats of 80%+). There’s more! Our optic nerves are literally hard-wired into our brains, which means that the dominant sense for most people is the eye. Something else I’ve read is that while most of the brain’s receptors support our eyes, a shockingly small percentage (3% sticks in my brain) services our ears.

This increases the pressure on us meeting or presenting virtually to service the eye. I’ll start addressing visual aids in “Tip #4,” as well as my two opinions about the Brady Bunch heads of attendees on screen (“yes” when meeting, “no” when presenting).

There are nine delivery skills that have an impact on the way you are perceived when interacting with others. Five are “visible,” in that people see them when you’re face-to-face. They are: Movement (feet), stance (posture), hands, gestures and eye contact. For the most part, when virtual, the far more dominant delivery skills are the audible ones, qualities of your voice that people hear. They are volume, speed (speaking pace), animation and non-words.

Volume – Have you ever been told that you talk to loud (by anyone other than your significant other)? Too soft? For those who talk too loud…embrace it. In the virtual world, people can turn down the volume on their speakers! Too soft? You need to push outside your comfort zone. Over the years, many participants in presentation classes at some point have said, “I’m yelling,” and when I looked at the group, they said, “you could go even louder.” My recommendation – determine whatever you think is the appropriate level, and go a half-notch louder!

Volume creates the perception of “confident.” Who doesn’t want that? Your voice is a magnificent tool for burning off nervous energy, so loud helps there too. Loud commands the audience. Finally, our voices trail off when we speak – the longer the sentence, the more dramatic the trailing. Start decent and end to soft. Start loud and end decent.

Note – technology has an impact on “loud.” I’ll do a tip on technology down the road.

Speed (Speaking Pace) – Ever been told that you talk to fast? Too slow? (I’ve run into the rare “slow talker,” and it is a wonder to behold.) I once heard a woman reading the Lord’s Prayer, digitally recorded and clocking in at over 600 words per minute. If you’re listening to the radio and an investment company ad is on, or an ad for a contest, at the end someone speed reads through the disclaimer. That’s over 300 words per minute. For the woman doing 600, it was a real strain to even make out the words. 300 is comically fast, be we can not only hear it, but understand it.

None of us talk that fast in normal conversation. That’s the good news. The bad news is that we want more than people being able to hear us, we want them to understand, to be able to digest the content. That only happens if we give them the time to process. That means pauses. It doesn’t matter how fast you talk. Pause more. Think of speaking as if it was written. A comma in the middle of a sentence is a pause; A period at the end of a sentence is a pause. As I mentioned in last week’s tip, silence is your friend!

If you artificially slow down, all of the passion you have will get sucked right out of your voice. Don’t slow down, pause more.

Animation – is the tonal fluctuation in your voice, most frequently responsible for creating the impression of belief, or passion. People never get more excited about your ideas than you are! Animation happens on a continuum: at one end is a lot of animation, the other end is a monotone. Now think of someone speaking in a monotone. How would you describe that person? Boring! Who wants to be described that way?

Here’s the challenge of animation – most people stop short of the level that would be appropriate in most situations. Why? There is a natural gap between what would be appropriate and how far we push animation. One reason for the gap is nervousness. A second is our belief that we need to be “serious,” the kiss of death for animation. If that’s not enough, nobody wants to be perceived as a carnival barker. For all of those reasons, our personal inhibitions kick in, and voila, we’re in monotone-ville.

 My recommendation – push beyond what you think is appropriate! It is NEVER too much, because you won’t allow yourself to go “over the top.” Let me make another point about animation. Some people mistake this for “being theatrical.” So, I’ll be redundant about a point two paragraphs ago – People are never more excited about your ideas than you are. Why is excitement important? Our brain, that’s why.

The data processing part of our brain is the neocortex. That (and every engineer, accountant or IT professional) leads us to believe that the “numbers speak for themselves.” Guess where decisions get made? It is the limbic part of our brain, and what do you think that is? The limbic system is our emotion center. So, this whole idea of winning and audience’s minds (data) and hearts (emotion) is key! You need to sound excited about your content.

Non-Words – are verbal fillers, like “uh” and “um” (the true non-words) plus “and,” “but,” “because,” “so,” “like,” or even “ok,” or “right” upspoken at the ends of your sentences, riiiiiiiiight? If a compound sentence is two thoughts tied together with a conjunction, a run-on sentence is the third, fourth or fifth thought added on (and the connectors between the run-on sentences become non-words).

The cure here? More pauses! 80% of non-words happen in-between sentences. The rest happen as we’re looking for the “right word” to put into the sentence. The problem is that we don’t even hear them ourselves. It’s easy to say “pause more,” but what you have to do is slow down enough to listen to what’s coming out of your mouth. That allows you to hear them, insert a pause, and continue. The impact is dramatic.

For those of you thinking, “English is not my first language,” I have two responses. Many times in the UK, I’ve had Brits try to convince me that non-words were a sign of intelligence. (I never buy that.) I recently taught a class and had a participant from Sweden. When he gave the English-Isn’t-My-Mother-Tongue excuse, I said, “speak to us in Swedish.” Within a sentence, “emm” popped out. I looked at the group and claimed, “case closed.”

This doesn’t mean, “never use non-words again.” Rather, you can easily reduce them to the point where they are no longer distracting to people listening to you.

Bonus Tip #3.5 Invisible Body Language –

I bet you’re thinking, “nobody can see me, so why should I care about body language?”

I know I shouldn’t answer a question with a question, but can’t you hear it when someone is speaking and smiling? A smile is a gesture, and it’s part of the animation package (your voice, your hands and your facial expression).

There is a natural link between your hands and your voice. I don’t know which drives the other, but the link is real. Use your hands. If you’re on a webcam, fine, but if you’re not, gesture to your heart’s content, even though nobody sees it. They will hear it.

If you’re using a wireless headset and you think it would help to move (walk) around, you can do that too. Some people need to get their feet engaged to get their hands and voices engaged. You can’t wander if you’re on a wired headset, or if you’re using the microphone on your computer…too bad.

Lesson? Besides your visuals, your voice is the most powerful tool you have at your disposal when meeting or presenting virtually. Use it! The secret is practicing these skills one at a time, but doing it every time you open your mouth. Every phone call, every virtual meeting, every discussion you have inside and outside of work is an opportunity to practice these skills.

Stay Safe!

Joe Friedman is co-founder of ZEHREN♦FRIEDMAN ASSOCIATES, Ltd, which sells and delivers sales, presentation, negotiation and influence training. Joe spends over 100 days a year in the classroom (virtually and in-person).

You can call Joe directly at 312-841-3364 or email to jfriedman@zehrenfriedmam.com.